I am a Year 6 student in the Uru Mānuka Cluster. This is a place where I will share my learning. Please note that some of it will not be complete, it will be my first drafts. Remember to be positive, thoughtful and helpful when you leave me a comment.
Thursday, 17 October 2019
Story From Orlando
I was just driving my car down the road I spotted a green light I ran away from the green light I see a yellow person with a blue fedora was running to me. I whiff a weird whiff like an unIdentified whiff as the person got closer to me I Hear a dripping pipe from the back of the tunnel. Then the person was closer to me I ran to attack the person I feel hard skin I hit the person so hard that it ran away I spotted this yellow bloop on the wall I taste this yellow blood it was yucky I find mine way out I ran to my car I spotted a gray small undignified plane? Or a helicopter? over my car I tried to get a photo of the license plate but There was no license plate and it flies away I chaste it on foot to this base I read the sign the name of this base was Area 51. …... *black out* I got back up from my black out I find myself in this prison cell in the room was just a bed toilet sync a hole to fit a tray food I see tray with corn potato mash beans milk next to my bed I sit on my bed I grabbed the corn before I was going to bite the corn someone says get up ROLE CALL the mobile tank force opens my cell door he takes me to this room in the middle of the room was a Purple pink tree falling down pink purple leaves The tree looks like it’s a jelly tree So they say my name to go I walk down to a hall so I walk down there I find a room with boxes I open One of them I find a Darth Ray I put it out of the box So I run back into my cell The door closes I sit back on my bed I look with my bars I a UFO So I shoot the wall a big hole is now on the wall So I run out of my cell I stole a Jeep Then I Drive out of Area 51
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Kia Ora Orlando.
ReplyDeleteI like your blog post about your story. It was very interesting and cool I like it alot. Good job on your story Orlando.
Maybe next time you could tell us why you are writing the story?
Blog you later.
Kia ora Orlando.
ReplyDeleteI like your story about Area 51, it has lots of interesting adjectives these are great to use in stories! Next time you can organize writing into paragraphs so it's easier to read and it looks better.
Kia Ora Orlando, your blog post is amazing and of course your story. I really like the descriptive words on your writing. I still think there should maybe some images for your writing. The words does put a picture in my head which makes me feel interested in reading the whole thing. Good job on the writing, the thing you are missing is just decor.
ReplyDeleteKia ora Orlando
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the part when you said I was just driving my car down the road I spotted a green light
good descripcion
Did you think about putting any pictures
Why did you put this on your blog
Talofa Orlando, Acasia here
ReplyDeleteI love this piece of writing it has so much information especially for a year four like you. I like how you added big words in the story. Maybe next time you could put it all into paragraphs to make it a bit tidy. But overall This is amazing, Good job!
Kia ora Orlando I like your story about area 51 it was really interesting my favourite part was you really desribed the words that you are using. Maybe next time add a few images to get a visal look at what you are writing. But thats all.Bye!
ReplyDeleteHello Kian here I like how much you have written. Maybe next time you could add more fullstops.
ReplyDeleteKia ora Orlando
ReplyDeleteMy name is kyle rice i am a year 6 in this school.
i like this story about area 51 i wonder how long it
took to make the draft anyway i think that you have done a amazing job with it.kyle Sining of